The Long Kiss Goodnight

While recently spending a weekend with my father I saw a movie, ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’ that he dubbed one of the greatest movies of all time. Automatically I was skeptical but we sat down to watch it anyway. Because I was sure this would be the next topic of my critique I pulled out my notepad and went to take some notes on this supposedly great movie.

Before I go any further, The Long Kiss Goodnight stars Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson. Now if that doesn’t get your attention and also tell you what kind of movie it’s going to be then get your head on straight and pay attention.

Yeesh.

So Long Kiss Goodnight is the story about a secret agent (Geena Davis) who almost dies eight years prior and losses her memory, thus becoming Samantha Caine. For a while she hires detectives to help her find out who she was but is never able to find anything. One of the cheep ones (Jackson), who makes his introduction blackmailing a guy for hiring a prostitute that he set up and has a habit of singing about what he does, finds some old belongings of hers and they begin to follow the trail to her past, uncovering a terrible fund raising scheme that would kill thousands of people and Samantha’s old personality Charlie.

Now that I’ve vary vaguely ruined most of the plot for you I want you to keep reading, I’ve told you before, this only gets better. So while I was watching the movie I had my note pad out and I’m usually vary good about taking down points that I think are important. When I looked down at the end of the movie all I had where three points about the beginning and then it just sort of drifted off into reactions. ‘lol’ ‘wow’ ‘holy shit’ all graced my page (in that order). The level in which the movie had drawn me in was extremely surprising.

The Long Kiss Goodnight is by no means a terribly deep movie, it deals with basic themes and some overdone character flaws, but it does it so well and in such a shiny and explosive way that you don’t even think about it. It reminds me a lot of Indiana Jones in the way that the real nuggets of hilarity are not the witty banter (of which there’s quite a lot and vary well done might I add) but instead at the little looks, facial expressions and silent actions. The best example of this is when Samantha/Charlie and the detective are on the run and their in a car. Charlie thinks that she doesn’t really have any use for the other around and literally pushes him out of the car while their headed up a New Jersey street.

His response to this is to lay where he’s rolled, still on the side of the street, and pull out a cigarette. Him sitting there calmly was far funnier then when she picked him back up about fifty seconds later and his response of “Found a use for me huh?”

This movie is not without its small plot holes and oddities. Like for instance there’s a point where Sam and her roughly eight year old daughter are caught in a basement full of gasoline drums. Somehow, before they are surrounded by the bad guys that had been chasing them and being faced with the threat to be blown sky high, she uses her daughters doll’s ability to realistically pee to get some of the gas into the doll which she later uses to blow the door (and most of the building) off of a meat locker.

But they’re so small and you’re so wrapped up in the rest of the visual play that it doesn’t really matter.

So for all of you who like awesome hilarity and lots of explosions with some of the best acting and directing this silly genre has ever seen I suggest you go find yourself a copy, I know I have.

Oh, and Dad, if you’re reading this, I think mom borrowed the movie.

Because I know I don’t have it...

Persona 3

Persona 3 is a JRPG (Japanese Role Play Game) that I played quite recently and I have to sadly say, the damn thing has quite an affect on me. I either end up playing it until I emerge from my room like a brain sucking zombie because I haven’t eaten in a vary long time, or I play it for roughly fifteen minutes before snapping my controller in half and locking the game in my closet for a few days.

But enough about my personal issues, Persona 3 is about a team of high schoolers who can use a different sort of personality inside them that comes out when they shoot themselves with invoker guns. No, I’m not kidding. At least three times in a single battle you pull out a gun and shoot your self in the head with a pistol, letting a monster come out the side where the blood and brain matter would have sprayed from. It comes out with a lovely shattering sound to fight creatures called shadows. Shadows come from your school that for one hour at night turns into a giant tower of changing doom, while normal humans turn into coffins so they’re safe and don’t remember a thing.

You play the fairly quiet hero who wares headphones and has blue hair (It’s a JRPG, what do you expect?) who joins the shadow fighting group consisting of your regular JRPG stereo type characters; The cool older girl, the fighting older male, the perverted cocky guy and the daughter seeking revenge. No, that’s not all there is but that’s all you start with and that’s all I’m willing to go through.

This game is played as a cross between those odd Dating games you find on the internet and a regular “chosen one” fantasy game. Magic hurling, sword fighting, every female character succumbing to your manliness a little too easily… blah de fricken blah. If you really want to know what it’s like it’s the same as every other RPG that’s come out of Japan. The system looks a little different; it’s a little more Macob then most fluffy-happy-bunny-bleed-out-your-eyes-because-there-are-so-many-bright-colors-on-the-screen games but it’s the exact same thing.

Oh and it doesn’t end there. The difficulty curve is awful, let me explain. While you try to get to the top of the big… tower thing that houses almost all these shadow baddies you kill a lot of them, and quickly. Probably enough to worry about the little jerks becoming extinct because all of them die so easily (you can choke them with a cordless phone). About five floors after I started playing I began to wonder why it would be this easy. It was rather sad actually, I’m not a big fan of turn based combat to begin with but if it was going to be as easy as whacking the evil glove of littleness twice then I don’t really see the point in fighting them to begin with. Then somewhere around floors ten or fifteen I get to a small floor and my intelligence person (the cool older female, naturally) tells me she senses something big and to be careful. I, excited finally, run out to fight this gigantic shadow. I didn’t think it would be the shadow of instant death. To beat the first boss I had to fight him three times, and it’s the same exact thing for every boss no matter how hard you train your little characters up.

Now, I’m not saying that the game is worse then baby eating and that you shouldn’t go get yourself a copy. Chances are that you already know if you like this game or not. If you like JRPGs, you’ll find this game fun and possibly even challenging, giving a new look on the beaten, dead horse that is all JRPG story lines. If you don’t like them then don’t worry about it. This is not a game that will change your point of view and I certainly think you could do better in the way of cartoony games, like buying the Sly Cooper series.

This is Only the Begining

Hello and welcome all to In Reveiw, a blog about...... well if I honestly had to tell you I think I might as well just delete this thing right now. However I will let you know that this is reviewing viewed from a slightly different angle (roughly 5 1/2 feet off the ground), that angle being from the stand point of a 17 year old with a love of fuzzy objects and large explosions (you know, just like every other 17 year old). My name in Frendell and I will be your guide in the lovely land of sarcasm and underage reviewing. So join me while we search through movies, games, books and whatever else tickles our fancy. This is only the beginning of a beautiful thing.